1.
You had at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for
several years after a funeral.
2.
You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was
pronounced “sangwich.”
3.
The family dog understood Italian.
4.
Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting
grandparents and extended family.
5.
You've experienced the phenomenon of 150 people fitting into 50
squarefeet of a backyard during a family cookout.
6.
You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals
a day, not seven.
7.
You thought killing a pig each year and having salami, capacollo,
pancetta and prosciutto hanging to dry from the ceiling of the shed was
absolutely normal.
8.
You ate pasta for dinner at least three times a week and every
Sunday.
9.
You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.
10.
Your mother’s main hobby is cleaning.
11.
You
were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in the store.
12.
You thought everyone made their own spaghetti sauce (“gravy) and
grated their own Parmesan cheese.
13.
You never ate meat on Christmas Eve - or any Friday for that matter.
14.
You ate the salad after the main course.
15.
You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world.
16.
You were smacked at least once with a wooden spoon or broom.
17.
You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your
hand.
18.
You can understand Italian but you can't speak it.
19.
You have at least one relative who came to America “off the boat.”
20.
All of your uncles fought in a World War.
21.
You have at least six male relatives named Tony, Frank, Joe or Louie.
22.
You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.
23.
You have relatives you don't speak to.
24.
You drank wine before you were a teenager.
25.
You relate on some level to
The Godfather and The Sopranos.
26.
You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have a patch of dirt
without a flower or vegetable growing out of it.
27.
Your grandparents’ furniture was as comfortable as sitting on
plastic. Wait, you were sitting on plastic.
28.
You thought speaking loud was normal.
29.
You thought sugared almonds and the Tarantella were common at all
weddings.
30.
You thought everyone was pinched on the cheeks by Uncle Joe and
dollar bills stuffed into their pockets by Aunt Anna.
31.
Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter
what their age.
32.
There was a crucifix in every room of the house.
33.
Wakes would be held in someone's living room.
34.
You couldn't date someone who wasn’t Italian.
35.
You called pasta “macaroni.”
36.
You dreaded taking out your lunch at school because you were sure
your mother had packed you some weird Italian food.
37.
Going out for a cup of coffee usually meant going over to Zia's
house.
38.
Every condition, ailment, misfortune, memory loss and accident was
because you didn't eat something.
39.
Every Thanksgiving and Christmas began with pasta – before the
turkey.
40.
You could understand what your “nonna” was saying, but your friends
couldn’t.
calendar
